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Nov. 23rd, 2007 02:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a1enzoRate the following well-known viruses according to class, power level, and infection rating (where applicable).
Suddenly, Enzo smacks away his TXTbook. "I'm BORED!"
"Ha!" Balun grins smugly at Hugh. "Less than a minute. Pay up." Hugh grimaces and drops down a handful of units.
"Being a Guardian's s'posed to be exciting!" Enzo whines. "Bob said the Academy was gonna be hard, he didn't say it'd be boring."
"It gets better later," Hugh reassures him.
"Yeah! 'Specially once you get into vehicle training," Balun says with a gleam in his eye.
Hugh rolls his eyes at Balun. "I know first term's a drag..."
"It's completely low-density! I already know everything in Game Theory, Viral Studies is just lists of stuff like in regular school... even Unarmed Combat is just doing forms over and over!" He slumps. "I miss Milliways."
"Hmm?"
Whoops. "I, uh, said I miss Mainframe. It's pretty random sometimes," oh my yes, "but there's always stuff happening."
Hugh and Balun exchange a glance over the side of Hugh's bunk.
"You like randomness, huh?" says Hugh speculatively.
"Yeah," Enzo declares sullenly. "Sometimes. It's more interesting than this."
Balun grins. "I could use a break," he declares, putting his datapad down on the bed.
"When can't you? C'mon, then." Hugh jumps down to the floor. "Some sprites you might like to meet, Enzo."
* * * * * *
The E floor moderator massages his temples as he walks. He did not sign up for this.
♫If you're intent on peddling pr0n,♫ sings the lavender-skinned girl walking behind him, ♫pack up your JPEGs and begone -♫
"Val..." mutters the mod.
The girl ignores him. ♫(Though it's more thrilling, I daresay, than what most hawk here ev'ryday!)♫
♫But is it better?♫ puts in another girl, copper-shiny with a shock of peacock-blue hair, who's bringing up the rear with a small snare drum.
♫I should say!♫ returns the lead singer. ♫It beats cat photos any day!♫
"Val..."
Enzo, approaching with Hugh and Balun, laughs at this scene. He's seen A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum a couple times, and he's familiar enough with it to recognize the Moderator's first song, "Terms of Service".
♫But pr0n's verboten!♫ both girls sing joyfully. ♫Quite verboten! Spamming, also, scamming, also, races slamming - that's out too!♫
"Aaargh, Tone..."
♫He who flouts this stern decree, banned forevermore shall be!♫ sings the first girl portentously.
♫If you flout his stern decree,♫ her accompanist agrees, ♫exiled evermore you'll be!♫ and concludes with a drumroll and final smack.
The mod, breathing very deeply to control his temper, realizes they've finished. "Val, you are really getting -"
"I had to finish the song!" Val protests. "I couldn't just stop in the middle."
"And I needed to get in my drumming practice this cycle," her companion adds innocently.
The mod sighs heavily and rubs at his forehead. "No, Val, it is not, in fact, necessary to finish the song."
"Really?" Val smiles and looks with raised eyebrows at Tone, who nods and produces a datapad. The mod looks disgusted and flees the situation as she types.
"New item?" inquires Hugh.
Tone nods. "It is not necessary to finish the song."
"How many does that make?"
"87, not counting corollaries."
Val beams proudly. "Three new strictures already this term! Who's the fresh meat?"
Hugh grins and gestures as he performs the introduction. "Enzo Matrix, meet Cadets Value and Tone."
The cadets in question are just slightly older than Balun, and they stare at Enzo with delight. "Enzo Matrix?" Tone demands. "This is him?"
"Yup! The powers that be saw fit to let us corrupt an honest-to-User 'Net-wide hero!" Hugh claps a hand on one of Enzo's shoulders; Balun does the same with the other. Enzo smiles a little nervously.
"Lucky," says Val, pushing a loose lock of gold-chrome hair behind her ear. It doesn't stay put. "Hey, is it true you got Game sprites to help against Daemon?" she asks Enzo.
Enzo looks apologetic to cover the usual moment of panic. "I, um, I'm not s'posed to talk about it yet. Sis is having a lot of trouble with the media."
"Awww," says Val, sulking for about a picosecond before shrugging cheerfully. "Okay. Sorry, but you know the rumour mill..."
"It travels faster than the speed of thought," Tone agrees.
Balun laughs. Tone grins and looks supremely vindicated.
"Anyway," Hugh tells them, "Enzo was just bemoaning the lack of excitement around here. Seems he's used to a bit more randomness than this place offers." He grins wickedly.
Val returns the grin. "Really? Well, I think we can help with that. Let's see, how shall we provide this lad's daily dose of the bizarre..."
Tone glances quickly at Balun. "We could take him vadding?" she suggests.
"Hey, yeah!" Balun looks utterly delighted at the prospect. "There's a couple of side tunnels I wanted to try..." Tone's grin is even bigger than before; she's almost purring.
"What's vadding?" Enzo asks.
"Vadding," Balun says excitedly. "Tunnel hacking. Exploration, man!"
Tone and Value both nod emphatically. "If we're to properly corrupt this fine fellow, we have to introduce him to vadding," says Tone.
"But what does it mean?" Enzo insists.
"Well, it certainly doesn't mean accessing the utility software tunnels," Hugh tells him. "After all, the Academy doesn't have any. Everyone knows that."
Val nods. "And even if there were any, we'd never go there, since that'd be an illegal operation."
"And you certainly wouldn't be able to get just about anywhere on campus through them," Balun says with a manic glint in his eye.
Enzo grins. "We totally shouldn't do it."
The older cadets smile their approval. "C'mon," says Val, "there isn't a way in through the lounge bathrooms."
[The mun would like to thank her friend J.W. Wells for the lyrics to "Terms of Service" (to the tune of "See how the Fates their gifts allot" from The Mikado).]
Suddenly, Enzo smacks away his TXTbook. "I'm BORED!"
"Ha!" Balun grins smugly at Hugh. "Less than a minute. Pay up." Hugh grimaces and drops down a handful of units.
"Being a Guardian's s'posed to be exciting!" Enzo whines. "Bob said the Academy was gonna be hard, he didn't say it'd be boring."
"It gets better later," Hugh reassures him.
"Yeah! 'Specially once you get into vehicle training," Balun says with a gleam in his eye.
Hugh rolls his eyes at Balun. "I know first term's a drag..."
"It's completely low-density! I already know everything in Game Theory, Viral Studies is just lists of stuff like in regular school... even Unarmed Combat is just doing forms over and over!" He slumps. "I miss Milliways."
"Hmm?"
Whoops. "I, uh, said I miss Mainframe. It's pretty random sometimes," oh my yes, "but there's always stuff happening."
Hugh and Balun exchange a glance over the side of Hugh's bunk.
"You like randomness, huh?" says Hugh speculatively.
"Yeah," Enzo declares sullenly. "Sometimes. It's more interesting than this."
Balun grins. "I could use a break," he declares, putting his datapad down on the bed.
"When can't you? C'mon, then." Hugh jumps down to the floor. "Some sprites you might like to meet, Enzo."
The E floor moderator massages his temples as he walks. He did not sign up for this.
♫If you're intent on peddling pr0n,♫ sings the lavender-skinned girl walking behind him, ♫pack up your JPEGs and begone -♫
"Val..." mutters the mod.
The girl ignores him. ♫(Though it's more thrilling, I daresay, than what most hawk here ev'ryday!)♫
♫But is it better?♫ puts in another girl, copper-shiny with a shock of peacock-blue hair, who's bringing up the rear with a small snare drum.
♫I should say!♫ returns the lead singer. ♫It beats cat photos any day!♫
"Val..."
Enzo, approaching with Hugh and Balun, laughs at this scene. He's seen A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum a couple times, and he's familiar enough with it to recognize the Moderator's first song, "Terms of Service".
♫But pr0n's verboten!♫ both girls sing joyfully. ♫Quite verboten! Spamming, also, scamming, also, races slamming - that's out too!♫
"Aaargh, Tone..."
♫He who flouts this stern decree, banned forevermore shall be!♫ sings the first girl portentously.
♫If you flout his stern decree,♫ her accompanist agrees, ♫exiled evermore you'll be!♫ and concludes with a drumroll and final smack.
The mod, breathing very deeply to control his temper, realizes they've finished. "Val, you are really getting -"
"I had to finish the song!" Val protests. "I couldn't just stop in the middle."
"And I needed to get in my drumming practice this cycle," her companion adds innocently.
The mod sighs heavily and rubs at his forehead. "No, Val, it is not, in fact, necessary to finish the song."
"Really?" Val smiles and looks with raised eyebrows at Tone, who nods and produces a datapad. The mod looks disgusted and flees the situation as she types.
"New item?" inquires Hugh.
Tone nods. "It is not necessary to finish the song."
"How many does that make?"
"87, not counting corollaries."
Val beams proudly. "Three new strictures already this term! Who's the fresh meat?"
Hugh grins and gestures as he performs the introduction. "Enzo Matrix, meet Cadets Value and Tone."
The cadets in question are just slightly older than Balun, and they stare at Enzo with delight. "Enzo Matrix?" Tone demands. "This is him?"
"Yup! The powers that be saw fit to let us corrupt an honest-to-User 'Net-wide hero!" Hugh claps a hand on one of Enzo's shoulders; Balun does the same with the other. Enzo smiles a little nervously.
"Lucky," says Val, pushing a loose lock of gold-chrome hair behind her ear. It doesn't stay put. "Hey, is it true you got Game sprites to help against Daemon?" she asks Enzo.
Enzo looks apologetic to cover the usual moment of panic. "I, um, I'm not s'posed to talk about it yet. Sis is having a lot of trouble with the media."
"Awww," says Val, sulking for about a picosecond before shrugging cheerfully. "Okay. Sorry, but you know the rumour mill..."
"It travels faster than the speed of thought," Tone agrees.
Balun laughs. Tone grins and looks supremely vindicated.
"Anyway," Hugh tells them, "Enzo was just bemoaning the lack of excitement around here. Seems he's used to a bit more randomness than this place offers." He grins wickedly.
Val returns the grin. "Really? Well, I think we can help with that. Let's see, how shall we provide this lad's daily dose of the bizarre..."
Tone glances quickly at Balun. "We could take him vadding?" she suggests.
"Hey, yeah!" Balun looks utterly delighted at the prospect. "There's a couple of side tunnels I wanted to try..." Tone's grin is even bigger than before; she's almost purring.
"What's vadding?" Enzo asks.
"Vadding," Balun says excitedly. "Tunnel hacking. Exploration, man!"
Tone and Value both nod emphatically. "If we're to properly corrupt this fine fellow, we have to introduce him to vadding," says Tone.
"But what does it mean?" Enzo insists.
"Well, it certainly doesn't mean accessing the utility software tunnels," Hugh tells him. "After all, the Academy doesn't have any. Everyone knows that."
Val nods. "And even if there were any, we'd never go there, since that'd be an illegal operation."
"And you certainly wouldn't be able to get just about anywhere on campus through them," Balun says with a manic glint in his eye.
Enzo grins. "We totally shouldn't do it."
The older cadets smile their approval. "C'mon," says Val, "there isn't a way in through the lounge bathrooms."
[The mun would like to thank her friend J.W. Wells for the lyrics to "Terms of Service" (to the tune of "See how the Fates their gifts allot" from The Mikado).]
